1-7

The online dating world is quite the mystery. You have the guys that wink or email and then magically disappear into the black hole of the online dating world. I hope they are ok in that black hole. I hope it is not too dark in there. Do you think they have food and water? Maybe I should call the waaambulance.

The most memorable date of dates 1-7 and that started me on this whole blog thing, was the most recent. Date disaster #7. We will call him BOBO. *Real names have been changed the protect the identity of these idiots* Ladies, beware of the guy that has all of 2 pictures and you can only see his FAR FAR away face in one of them. But, me being the optimistic gal I am, thought what the heck, it cant hurt? Oh but it hurt, it hurt so bad that my eyeballs are still buring from the enourmous herpe protruding from his lip (he really did have a huge herpe on his lip, this is not a joke). And the 1982 Town Car with blacked out windows he rolled up in. I could have stayed in my car and just drove away, but NO I am just way too damn nice. And dont get me wrong, it was not only bad enough that he looked nothing like his pictures, but he had the personality of a wet rag.

As if that was not bad enough, when we go to order our food (mexican) he says that he better keep it light, he does not want to have to go running for the border if you know what I mean. To make it even better, all he talked about was how girls never call him back and how they expect the "wow" factor when they walk in to meet someone. He gave me the "wow" factor all right. "WOW" what the F*C* was I thinking?? I do not need the "wow" factor. I need someone to kill me right here and now to put me out of my misery. I talked the entire time we ate dinner. He did not have 1 intelligent thing to say.

Apparently as I was walking ever so fastly away from him I was delusional and told him I had fun and to call me. And he did all right. The very next day. And when I didnt call him back, he sent a nasty message to me. Really?? After one date pal??

What I really wanted to say to him was why dont you put up some real pictures of yourself and be honest? Maybe THEN you will get a call back. Until then, I am running for the border. Running as far away from you as possible.

I know you are thinking this is pretty harsh. I really wish I had pulled out my cell phone and snapped a photo or two and taped this date. Then and ONLY then can you understand why I am so harsh. It really was that horrible.

Cupid, I am going to shoot your Fudging eye out!

If I could meet Cupid, I would ask him why he never stops by to shoot me with his little arrow? Why so stingy cupid? Can't you share the love? And then I would take his little arrow and shoot his eye out for being so damn stingy.

With Valentines Day quickly approaching, I am reminded every time I walk into a store that I am yet once again single. I think they should just wipe February 14 right off the calendar forever. What is the purpose really? Even when I wasn't single, the day sucked. Overpriced dinner, flowers and cards. Do you really need one day a year to tell me you give a shit? No, that should happen every day. But you didn't and that was that. Do you know what it is like to be the ONLY girl at the office EVERY year without flowers on her desk? I will tell you, it is pure torture. But not anymore! After I shoot cupid's eye out, there will be no more V day :) Yippeee for me!

With this being my very first blog, maybe I should turn the tone of this around. I am not all that bitter. Oh wait, yes I am. I am the girl who has been dumped more times than your local hooker. Hard to believe guys these days dont want to date a down to earth, normal girl with her head screwed on straight. I have a great career, good friends, wonderful family and I am smart. I almost have a Masters degree to prove it. And get this, I am even pretty, funny, sweet, caring and the nicest person most people know.

So here I am to blog about the adventures of internet dating and other mishaps of my 30 something year old life. I just started blogging so you all wont get the pleasure of hearing about dates 1 -7. Or maybe I will give you a brief run down. After all, it is hysterical.